Well here I stand, staring down my life’s timeline, squarely
into the steely eyes of my half-century celebration. To be honest, I haven’t
been beating myself up about the whole thing. Well no point in belabouring the
point … it’s here and from what I do
know, isn’t going anywhere.
My other “significant” birthdays came and went with
little or no notice. But so much has happened since I turned 40! So much I’ve
learned about life and how important it is to celebrate the people and events in
our lives, how strong we can be when called to the task. I’ll honestly tell
you, I fairly kicked and screamed my way
out of the Kentville hospital, and then out of Rehab! Looking back, I see how
easy it might have been to sit back and let my life continue without me!
I’m sure most of you have set about nodding your heads… and, what I’ve said certainly isn’t news! But, there is a burning passion in some of us that makes us WANT to participate in our own lives. I guess I have what my dad calls his British stubbornness! Or is it spunk? It doesn’t really matter what you call it, you either have it or you don’t.
But, sometimes the tedium of
it all threatens to swallow me whole! Pedal, pedal, pedal, until I get to 3
miles… is anyone aware how HARD it is to count out those squats? Down and up
for one… I think you get it. Then, intentionally wearing clothes with buttons
or zippers to learn that again, because
your Halifax therapist warned you that you’d better choose
clothing without those fasteners because you’d never be able to accomplish
either on your own. Yet, Here I sit with a beautiful blouse on that my mom gave
me, with six buttons on it … DONE up by ME, I might add.
The truth of it is, in just the blink of an eye, your life
can do a u-turn, forcing you to take stock and decide how best to deal with it…
do you do nothing and sit out the rest of what could otherwise be an exciting
life? Or do you grasp what’s left as tightly as possible and prove to yourself
what you’re made of? Sorry, if you’re thinking I’m talking of the rest of my
life as something I might want to cast aside. Actually, I already acknowledge I
had a brief interruption in life, but, it really
is quite a rewarding life. I’m discovering talents and interests I didn’t
know I had… and may never have otherwise
discovered!
I do know for sure that right now I CANNOT walk in heels
(that is, YET!!) I am still cooking… maybe not as quickly or as efficiently. I
CAN and DO clean up after myself.
Of course, as we move through the various phases of our
lives many of us find ourselves
re-examining our lives, perhaps a new career, a new partner and such. And
while I navigate those waters, after suffering serious trauma to my body and my
brain, I find I’m looking more at the positivity than at the negativity, more
so maybe than some others who’ve not experienced trauma. Don’t get me wrong! I certainly have my dark times, sometimes
hours, sometimes days. I’m sure many of you have experienced the same, I try very
hard to shake myself back to reality (and I know it likely sounds morbid), but I take stock of those who are much worse
off than myself. It truly makes me examine all the blessings I
have had bestowed on me… If it wasn’t in these 50 years, than when? So there it
is - 50 years of blessings and one “interruption.”
So I’ve lived half a century… and BOY HAVE I LIVED!!
.
For me, a huge part of my recovery, emotionally, physically and educationally, has been the writing this blog and the friends I have made through it! Thank you all!
Stay healthy and safe!
For me, a huge part of my recovery, emotionally, physically and educationally, has been the writing this blog and the friends I have made through it! Thank you all!
Stay healthy and safe!
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