Thursday, September 27, 2012

I'M BACK... WITH BIRTHDAY THOUGHTS


            Well here I stand, staring down my life’s timeline, squarely into the steely eyes of my half-century celebration. To be honest, I haven’t been beating myself up about the whole thing. Well no point in belabouring the point … it’s here and from what I do know, isn’t going anywhere.

            My other “significant” birthdays came and went with little or no notice. But so much has happened since I turned 40!  So much I’ve learned about life and how important it is to celebrate the people and events in our lives, how strong we can be when called to the task.  I’ll honestly tell you, I fairly kicked and screamed my way out of the Kentville hospital, and then out of Rehab! Looking back, I see how easy it might have been to sit back and let my life continue without me!


        I’m sure most of you have set about nodding your heads… and, what I’ve said certainly isn’t news! But, there is a burning passion in some of us that makes us WANT to participate in our own lives. I guess I have what my dad calls his British stubbornness! Or is it spunk? It doesn’t really matter what you call it, you either have it or you don’t.


         But, sometimes the tedium of it all threatens to swallow me whole! Pedal, pedal, pedal, until I get to 3 miles… is anyone aware how HARD it is to count out those squats? Down and up for one… I think you get it. Then, intentionally wearing clothes with buttons or zippers to learn that again, because your Halifax therapist warned you that you’d better choose clothing without those fasteners because you’d never be able to accomplish either on your own. Yet, Here I sit with a beautiful blouse on that my mom gave me, with six buttons on it … DONE up by ME, I might add.

           The truth of it is, in just the blink of an eye, your life can do a u-turn, forcing you to take stock and decide how best to deal with it… do you do nothing and sit out the rest of what could otherwise be an exciting life? Or do you grasp what’s left as tightly as possible and prove to yourself what you’re made of? Sorry, if you’re thinking I’m talking of the rest of my life as something I might want to cast aside. Actually, I already acknowledge I had a brief interruption in life, but, it really is quite a rewarding life. I’m discovering talents and interests I didn’t know I had… and may never have otherwise  discovered! 

            
             I do know for sure that right now I CANNOT walk in heels (that is, YET!!) I am still cooking… maybe not as quickly or as efficiently. I CAN and DO clean up after myself.


            Of course, as we move through the various phases of our lives many of us find ourselves  re-examining our lives, perhaps a new career, a new partner and such. And while I navigate those waters, after suffering serious trauma to my body and my brain, I find I’m looking more at the positivity than at the negativity, more so maybe than some others who’ve not experienced trauma. Don’t get me wrong!  I certainly have my dark times, sometimes hours, sometimes days. I’m sure many of you have experienced the same, I try very hard to shake myself back to reality (and I know it likely sounds morbid),  but I take stock of those who are much worse off than myself.  It truly makes me examine all the blessings I have had bestowed on me… If it wasn’t in these 50 years, than when? So there it is - 50 years of blessings and one “interruption.”            

  
          So I’ve lived  half a century… and BOY HAVE I LIVED!!
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          For me, a huge part of my recovery, emotionally, physically and educationally, has been the writing this blog and the friends I have made through it!  Thank you all!

Stay healthy and safe!
Sandra







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